First day back from spring break, and I've just realized how far back I am with everything. I wanted to finish a couple of things over the break but I never got around to doing it since I had a lot of personal things I had to deal with. Wow, there is only 5 or 6 more weeks of school left. That means its crunch time for everything: upcoming final exams, major ITM paper, individual and group Marketing presentations, internship paper and evaluation (gotta remind 98 Degrees to do that), the things for the lab including the alumni database, marketing proposal, and sponsorship packets, finding one more class to take in the summer, summer parking pass, and most important of all, applying for a job right after August. And oh, gotta deal with the many bills to pay. *Sigh* I just don't feel like doing anything at all. I feel like going down to Circuit City, buying that digital camera I'm itching to get, picking up some people and driving around endlessly snapping random photos so I can post them up on this blog like my ol' friend Mole does. Yeah, I'd love to do that. But can't do it tonight, for I have work till 1 am. Then I have to stay up and fix up our group presentation. Bleh.

Just got to tell myself, "cheer up man" and "I wanna be your lawyer."

So I ended up not going to Oceans Saturday night, which is a good thing. I could be coming down with a cold soon, unless I recover by resting and I did do that that night. I got a full 8 hours of sleep, something I haven't done in weeks. I woke up refreshed but still with a scratchy throat. I drank a million of glasses of water yesterday; it still hasn't made it go away, though.

Yesterday was Uncle Dino's surprise 60th birthday at Willows. It was a bit weird at first being that I am after all Nooby's ex and her boyfriend Mr. Panci was at the party as well. But it was alright though as everyone was really nice, and I get along well with Mr. Panci anyway, so that was cool. It was nice seeing all of Nooby's family again since I haven't seen them in such a long time (almost a year, I think). Nooby's cousin Suki was like "Long time no see... Why did you break her heart?" I was like "What?" But yeah she was joking around.. same ol' Suki haha. Talked a bit with the rest of Nooby's family like Fat Laugh Erin, Stevie, Aunty Cyn, Nooby's cousins, aunties, and uncles. Lil' Kayla forgot who I was :( But that's okay, they still made me feel like a part of the family. Wow, I really missed those guys...

As for the party itself, Uncle Dino looked like he was gonna have a heart attack when he entered the door. His look was classic! His speech was just as funny. "Thank you for coming to my birtday". Yes, that's birtday not birthday. And when leaving the banquet room, he went to thank the waitress and leaned over to kiss her on the cheek and she just walked away. Haha. Classic Uncle Dino... The food at the banquet was really good, especially the mahi. Hmm.. I should have grabbed food. Left at about 2ish but not before Erin invited me to come up for her wedding in February. Looks like I might have to save up for Cali?

Damnit, I gotta pay 200 dollars in taxes *tear*. As if I wasn't broke enough already, now I'm REALLY broke. Guess can't buy that CD deck that I had hoped to get soon. Hell, I might not be able to take that trip up there next year. *sigh*

Strange, a lot of middle-aged women like the "Man-Eater" song by Hall and Oates. Oh, the irony...

It's been a busy few days for me.. Well not really busy, just alot of socializing and alcohol ><
Let's recap...

Tuesday
- Hung out with U-Turn (formerly Tit) after work to cope (Thanks Kimbo!)
- Learned more about U-Turn's tastes: Left-handed, metro asian boys who are 17
- Paid to sing a song but some drunk guys hogged the mikes.. damn you!!
- Rediscovered the beauty of the Chingy song. You. Could.. fill in the blanks
- Denny's Meat Platter to finish the night.

Wednesday
- Lunch with Monkey at Onjins. Menu looked great, but I ended up ordering a not-so-great entree as usual.
- Caught Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind at Ward with U-Turn and Tree. If you like Vanilla Sky, this movie is for you. Kate Winslet pulls off a breakthrough performance.
- Radio and Jiggity Jon joined us at D&B for dinner. Had mushrooms and bar burgers at D&B. yum.
- Saw a bunch of people I knew: Monkey, Smirnoff, T-Man, Old Chinese Man and others. Line outside was hella long. Wednesday night, go figure...
- Tree, U-Turn, and I met up with Weather Man at MPB (second time in 2 days!)
- Was Jordan Segundo for one night at MPB.. American Idol, urr right!!

Thursday
- Went to Oceans with U-Turn and Faye Shui at 8 and there was a line! Luckily I had VIP to get U-Turn in and Smirnoff who was at the door used hers to get Faye Shui in.
- Hung out with a bunch of AMA people including Ray-Ray, Steph1 and Steph2, Ken Fries, Fransisco, Roxanne (You don't have to turn off the red light), and others. These guys are good fun, yups.
- Lots of people: Monkey, Smirnoff, Bush, Chai (formerly Meanie), Big Tony, State Farmer, Shell and her friend, Clubber, Matsuura, White-Out's brother (Eric?), I can't remember who else.. I swear all the spring breakers were there (or were trying to get in).
- Birthday girl Steph1 or Steph2 (I don't remember) made me spill my Jack on my shirt. Bad!
- Lots of drunken dancing, slurring, and ass-grabbing (not by me, of course)
- The result: lots of alcohol, and lots of empty space in wallet :( That's okay though, I never felt that good of a buzz since Rain in Vegas.

Friday
- Chilled with Monkey for awhile and had dinner at Spots. Katsu was okay; Monkey's Mahi was better.
- Was dragged to Venus >:O to protect Chai from "that guy". Ended up protecting her friend Biker from "the other guy".
- Got buzzed after one drink. I think I was still reelin from Oceans...
- Wanted to leave at 1, but ended up going home at 4

*Yawn* So much partying, so much alcohol. I need more sleep. But Liz and Carm asked me to come to Pirahnna Room tonight. Maybe I'll stop by, maybe I'll.. *falls over*

It's so hard to find the words to describe what has happened in the past few days but one word can sum up my feelings: Closure...

Sometimes in life, it's hard to figure what you really want. You have to make sacrifices in order to make things work out, but sometimes figuring out which sacrifices to make is a very difficult choice. Sometimes we justify our decisions based on false reasoning trying to cover up the painful truth. But the truth, though painful, is always best as it brings everything into perspective and allows yourself to move on from the situation. That is closure. I finally have that, and now I can move on...

It comes back to the whole thing with finding each other at the wrong time in their lives, when something that can be so special can never work out because they are not ready to give it their all. It is hard to let go, but if you are not ready, then you have no choice. You got to do what you got to do.

I'm grateful to be surrounded by wonderful friends, especially in my times of need. I've been through this before, only that it was without emotional support which had to be toughest thing I have ever dealt with in my life. But things are different now, and I am able to deal with this sadness easier. Thank you, my friend. You know who you guys are..

So what does this mean for Mr. Magikstick? Where does he go from here? I really don't know where the road will lead. Though I want the road to revisit the path I have already taken, I know that this may be wishful thinking as life is full of unexpected surprises. Feelings change, you meet new people, or you just distance yourself from the past. Whatever is in store, all I know is that I still love the girl and I miss her dearly.

You will always be my fucka. :)

Note: Entry originally written 03.23.04, 12:30 am. Damn modem was messed up so I couldn't post directly to this blog.

*Sigh* I guess I haven't gotten rid of the blues as I thought I did...

I had a rough day of work today, both at CB and at Gap. Yeah, it is usually rough on Mondays, but today was especially hard. A continuous stream of customers at the bank from start to finish, a huge shipment of replen at Gap, and throughout the whole ordeal, i felt alone. It's odd, since I do have my coworkers and the customers to interact with. Truth is though, with the customers, they are merely just part of going through the motions. Hi, hello, how can I help you, what else can I do for you, thank you, bye... I'd be lying if I said I had a meaningful conversation with one of them today. AS for my coworkers, it's hard to talk to them being that we were constantly busy and I am kinda isolated in my own teller area. Lunch was just me, my fried rice and Mitsu-Ken chicken, and my crossword puzzles. And for my shift at Gap, I held the fort at the Men's floor all by my lonesome self. I mean I've done these shifts before, but today it made me feel extra worse as I was feeling down today.

I don't know what it is, if it's work, the gloomy weather, or something else... but I think I'm getting depressed. It started weeks ago, sorta before the workshop where these feelings just started to come back. I thought it had to deal with my love life, and it kinda did, but I've come to realize it may be more than that. It could be the thoughts/fears of post-graduation life or something that I'm not sure of. I've regained the motivation to go out and make something of myself, something that I've lost in the past couple year so that's a good thing. But this nagging downer lingers at the moment as it had exactly one year ago. It must be a seasonal thing or it could just be a reminder that I am missing something in my life, as I have all of these years. Or maybe not. Maybe I'm just tired from work, bummed that I can't enjoy spring break as I had in high school when I had no job, homework, and expenses to worry about. Life sucks at this moment. I feel lonely, my feet are sore, RR is down, I'm tired, but yet to wide awake to fall asleep. This sucks...

Oh happy days...

It's funny how one person can turn your frown upside down, make all your sorrows go away, and make the sun shine brighter down on you. The world is a happier place for me and I know it'll only get better as the days go on... I'm happy again Monkey, thank you ;)

Before I go, let's find out today's "Bank Transaction of the Day", shall we?

Mr. Filo: How much do I need to bring the balance to $2,000?
Magikstick: $59.80
Mr. Filo: Okay, here you go. (gives cash)

After the transaction...
Mr. Filo: What is my new balance?

Don't get me wrong, Mr. Filo is a nice guy... He shook my hand after the transaction. Just a little slow... :)

I got some lunch money today from work because I wasn't around when the branch was treated to lunch. (woo-hoo!) I decided to check out the new Kiawe Grill location in Kalihi and splurged. And let me tell you, they have AWESOME GRILLED SHRIMP. Try the kalbi and shrimp combo; fuckin' good shit man.

Just a thought... When people post song lyrics on their blogs, it's usually a song with some deep and meaningful lyrics. But what about them other songs, with lyrics that don't make sense at all. In homage to those songs and their songwriters, I post the following lyrics:

Trio
Da Da Da

What you will and what you won't
What you do and what you don't
What you can and what you can't
This is what you need to know:
Loved you though it didn't show

Ich liebe dich nicht, du liebst mich nicht
Ich liebe dich nicht, du liebst mich nicht
Ich liebe dich nicht, du liebst mich nicht
Ich liebe dich nicht, du liebst mich nicht

da da da
da da da
da da da
da da da

Da da da Ich liebe dich nicht, du liebst mich nicht
Da da da Ich liebe dich nicht, du liebst mich nicht
Da da da Ich liebe dich nicht, du liebst mich nicht
Da da da Ich liebe dich nicht, du liebst mich nicht

da da da
da da da
da da da
da da da

Today is a good day. I'm all smiles :) :) :)

*Yawn*

I played hookie with my Lab hours today to take a nice long nappie nap. And my, my what a nice nappie nap it was. Nothing much eventful happened these past two days as my mind has been on other things. *Pout* I still think about us every minute. I miss her...

I took care of my parking ticket yesterday, well sorta. I filed my appeal with office yesterday and that should take care of it unless they're dickheads about it. Sunki handed out our midterms to finish by tomorrow. Duck soup. Just blabber a few pages and its peeness. Went to work at Gap and folded like crazy. Nick Shea said that Josh Groban is gay, which I found amusing. According to Monkey, it makes sense cause after all, he sings so damn well.

As for today.. I put my artistic skills to use at CB and decorated the wall with a large rabbit and a lot of shredded paper. FREE SHREDDER WITH A NEW CHECKING ACCOUNT!! Lily from Branch 03 complemented my masterpiece and said that I am in the wrong department. Damn straight. I belong up there with the big boys in the front office. Well actually, she said I belong with the guys in marketing, but its good to shoot high, eh? Damn, I am inspired!

Still got a lot left to due by week's end. Take care of my summer school biz, finish up some things at the Lab, and wash the car. Must. Wash. Car. And must start this midterm.

So off I go...

My customer, Mrs. Mimura was so nice. She surprised me at work with a tape of Wrestlemania. As I became delighted that she made me a copy, she clarified a misunderstanding. "You can give it back when you are done." The gesture though did make my day, and took my mind off things in the evening.. sorta...

I have a lot on my mind right now. I hope that everything will be fine in the end. I hope.

Today's weather: Freakin' windy. Where's my pajama bottoms?

So last night (or should I say Friday night), I met up with Yo Shizzle, RB, and friends at Oceans to save myself from boredom/loneliness. Kinda ticked off Tit for trying to drag her out of her house to go drinkin; I apologize (I hope she still doesn't hate everyone). It was too bad I didn't get to go with Monkey since I had hoped to meet up with her that night. I eventually met up with her at her house crashed there since I had work at 7:30 (!) Damn, I was late again but it was just a customer service training so it was okay. Had to stay an extra half-hour to fold though, bleh.

Well, as for the rest of the day, I spent it at Monkey's place. To sum up what I did today, I slept, ate, watched TV, slept, watched, ate, had McD's ice cream cone, watched American Wedding (funny stuff), and slept. Ahh, yet another productive day for yours truly. :)

Let's keep it simple today.

We won the scavenger hunt (really, we did).
Tit and Weather Man can sing.
TGIF gave me water with an ant in it.
Monkey: "I talk pidgin w/ my pigeon."
I'm drained..

I need sleep.

Do you like me sometimes? I love you all the time.
Some things may be different, but some things don't change..

Norah Jones
"Nightingale"

Nightingale
Sing us a song
Of a love that once belonged
Nightingale
Tell me your tale
Was your journey far too long?

Does it seem like I'm looking for an answer
To a question I can't ask
I don't know which way the feather falls
Or if I should blow it to the left

All the voices that are spinnin' around me
Trying to tell me what to say
Can I fly right behind you
And you can take me away...

Another day... the sun shines much brighter.

Yesterday was just a bad day. I just felt down about everything: myself, work, school, life, my parking ticket... just everything. Thank goodness my Internet was back up last night so that I had friends to chat with online. Listened to a couple of depressing songs which did not help my cause. (I'm digging some really neat artists like Amy Winehouse, Snow Patrol, and Hey Mercedes) Thank god that long and lonely day is over.

Got my ITM midterm back and got a 76% :( Damn, Lamb is such a hard grader. That's okay though. According to Lamb, I still have a shot at an A. :)

Mommy left for the Motherland today. I didn't know she was leaving in the morning, I thought she was leaving at night. Alas, I only got 2 hours of sleep since I went to see my mom off.

I. Need. Sleep. Bleh.

It's funny the requests you hear at the bank...
Me: What can I help you with today?
Nana: I need to change my penis.

My damn internet is down again. I don't know why... :(
And I just found out summer school registration starts today. And the section I wanted for a class was already filled... :( :(
Oh well...

I feel like karaoke. Let's sing shall we?

Something in the way you love me won't let me be
I don't want to be your prisoner so baby won't you set me free
Stop playing with my heart, Finish what you start, When you make my love come down
If you want me let me know, Baby let it show, Honey don't you fool around

Just try to understand, I've given all I can,
'Cause you got the best of me

Borderline, feels like I'm going to lose my mind
You just keep on pushing my love over the borderline

Keep on pushing me baby
Don't you know you drive me crazy
You just keep on pushing my love over the borderline

Something in your eyes is makin' such a fool of me
When you hold me in your arms you love me till I just can't see
But then you let me down, when I look around, baby you just can't be found
Stop driving me away, I just wanna stay,
There's something I just got to say

Just try to understand, I've given all I can,
'Cause you got the best of me

Keep on pushing me baby
Don't you know you drive me crazy
You just keep on pushing my love over the borderline

Look what your love has done to me
Come on baby set me free
You just keep on pushing my love over the borderline
You cause me so much pain, I think I'm going insane
What does it take to make you see?
You just keep on pushing my love over the borderline

Boy was today a freakin' long day at work. It was the first day without Liv My Dear and the branch already felt the effect of being one man (or woman) short. And with that I pondered on a thought about how all of the banks are trying to reduce the number of tellers and diverting customers to do their banking by other means, like the ATM for example.

Well, I thought of several reasons why we still need tellers like good ol' Magik Stick:
- Tellers can prepare deposit and withdrawal slips.
- Some customers forget their PIN number three times a week.
- Some customers don't know how to put their card in the ATM.
- Tellers can arrange cash that, for some damn reason, customers staple or tape together.
- Tellers are there to give balances after taking in 2 dollar deposits.
- ATMs can take deposits. But tellers can also take deposhits.
- Tellers are there to be hit on. (Dirty men for the female tellers, old Filipino women for the male ones)

And most importantly...
- Only tellers can tell Nana that the bank does not have penis wrappers.

Goddamn girl, you're so fucking hot...

Spent the night at Feng Shwee with Tit and her friends last night and had a pretty good time. Jokes were cracked here and there, but nothing was more funny than the worst pick-up line that Tit and I heard at the dance floor. Funny stuff...

Goddamn Feng Shwee, you're so fucking expensive... It's like a 10 dollar cover before 11pm and 20 bucks after! Jiggity Jon and I had to leave Cass in the garage to wait for parking while we hurried our ass to the door just to save 20 bucks between the both of us. Plus the drinks are so damn expensive. I had to ration out my drinks the whole night haha. Overall, not too much damage to my wallet. Highlight of the evening was meeting Mahealani from the news station. The good: she remembered me by the end of the evening (She knew my name!) and said I have nice complexion. The bad: she asked Weather Man if I was gay. WTF?! Arggh... I know it must be my wardrobe but can't I help it if I have good discounts at work? Bleh.

4 years..

That's how long I haven't visited Dr. Chin and Aunty Pam. Nasty teeth bleh. So I had them cleaned, and the result: "shiny teeth" as Monkey called it and a very sore mouth. Cleaning is done, and now I have to get my wisdoms pulled. Yikes!

Just a thought.. I've noticed how I hate comeback songs. I heard the comeback song to Eamon's *Fuck It" the other day and thought how stupid it was. I realized then that all of those comeback songs are pretty stupid in general. Remember the "No Chickens" song, or "21 Answers"? Stupid. I'm not talking about battle songs like the ones with Jay-Z and Nas. Just those other ones that try to make a name for themselves using other artist's hit. No originality whatsoever. Just stupid music by stupid people.

Damn, it's late. Must go to bed...

Went to the Meritage last night and had a grand ol' time. Yeah, it was fun hanging with my coworkers. Norm and Aunty Lorna were there, and so was Liz (and her sexy outfit) along with a couple of managers that I met before. Hung out most of the night with Flaker, (surprise, surprise) Advice-Giver, and Butterfly Tattoo. They were good fun. Well anyone would be good fun if you are feeling a bit tipsy. Total Damage: 3 jack-n-cokes, 1 rum-n-coke, a couple of martinis, and a lot of cheesecake. Damn Meritage has some good cheesecake. And good caesar salad, too.

Arrgh, another late shift at the Gap today. Lucky it's only a 3 hour shift though. Got to get some rest before I go...

Good lord my feet smell..

Oh my, what a long day i had today. Started off the day waking up a bit late cause my bro turned off my alarm clock. What's the use of an alarm clock if someone kills it before you wake up to it? Grrrr.. It would have been alright if i ran a little late, but I had to bring Toes to school today. But we made it on time. She packed me a p-n-j sandwich too. :)

So let's see... as for school, our Bombay presentation was the "bomb" cause of some nifty slides. hehe. I wasn't really prepared for it, but it turned out alright. I was really dreading my midterm for the class that followed after since I fell asleep last night before I got to read any of the textbook. Lack of sleep caught up with Good Ol' Magik Stick. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but I wasn't prepared enough for it, so I'm expecting the worst. Luckily, it's only 15% of my final grade, small change for any course. I hope I did well.

After school, I had a hella long shift at Gap. 7 hours of hard labor. Got new Men's stuff in; I think I'm gonna have to get me some gear. It was fun, but damn I'm tired... Size-runs are a bitch!

I'm actually looking forward to Chatterbox Jenn's thing at Meritage tomorrow. It's a chance to have a few drinks as a reward for a hard day today. Oh, Flaker gave me a call asking for a ride.. You wish, haha!! ;)

I haven't been able to update this blog in a bit since my internet was not working. Mommy forgot to pay the bill. Woops...

Let's see what's happened... Went to Ocean's yesterday. Good fun. Here's some highlights:
- Met up with Thug. Damn, it's been awhile since I've seen that guy.
- Kinda snobbed Meanie when coming in. Sorry!
- Had a drink and a lengthy conversation with Na-n-no and her man Drummer Boy.
- Stole a couple of sips off of Tit's apple martini (good stuff).
- Found out that Tit's friend (she happened to be in my class before) thought I was gay. "It's your style," she explained.
- Saw Jerms high up on his social ladder, smiling as usual.
- Tried (unsuccessfully) to get Big Tony to dance with Clubbin' K's skanky friend.
- Realized that I really don't like beer
- Got Na-n-no very scared to drink Coke (haha)
Overall it was a good night. I just wished Monkey was there to relieve some of her stress. Poor girl is overwhelmed of school. She needs a hug. :)

Got my dreaded midterm tomorrow. We just received our article that the midterm is based on. Got to read that and that damn textbook. Bleh.

Good news: We got the Sienna fixed. Yay.